Breastfeeding Aversion

Breastfeeding does not always feel easy, straightforward or enjoyable. Sometimes a baby suddenly refuses the breast, while at other times breastfeeding itself may become difficult, uncomfortable or emotionally overwhelming for the person feeding. A baby who refuses the breast may be communicating that something is making feeding difficult, rather than simply choosing not to breastfeed. Equally, a breastfeeding caregiver may experience intense feelings of irritation, agitation or aversion when their baby feeds, even when they still want to breastfeed. Both experiences deserve to be taken seriously.

When a baby refuses the breast

A baby may refuse the breast at any stage of the feeding journey. Some babies struggle to attach from the beginning, while others breastfeed well for weeks or months and then suddenly resist.

There can be many reasons. A baby may be unwell, congested, tired, teething or uncomfortable. Feeding may be physically difficult because of positioning, milk flow, oral function, breathing or coordination. A recent vaccination or injection may leave a baby sore or unsettled, making a normally comfortable feeding position temporarily difficult. Changes in routine, increased bottle feeding, distraction or overstimulation may also affect how a baby approaches the breast.

Sometimes a baby can also develop an association between breastfeeding and something that felt frightening, painful or unpleasant. The original event may not always be obvious. A difficult feed, choking episode, sudden coughing, pain, illness, reflux, injection or another upsetting experience may leave a baby reluctant to return to the breast even after the original problem has resolved.

In these situations, helping the baby experience the breast as a safe and enjoyable place to be can be just as important as ensuring that they receive enough milk. Time at the breast does not always need to mean feeding. Skin-to-skin contact, cuddling, playing, resting together and allowing the baby to approach the breast without pressure can help rebuild positive associations.

Sometimes there is no obvious single explanation. A sudden refusal in a baby who previously breastfed well is sometimes described as a nursing strike. This is different from deliberate or planned weaning and is usually temporary, although it can be very stressful for the feeding dyad. The important starting point is not to assume that a baby is refusing because they have simply decided they no longer want to breastfeed. Bonyata (2020) describes the importance of coaxing rather than forcing a baby to return to the breast, while keeping the baby fed as breastfeeding is re-established.

Why might a baby refuse to breastfeed?

A careful history and, where appropriate, observation of a feed can help identify what may be happening. Areas to consider include:

• Is the baby unwell, congested or experiencing pain?

• Could teething, an injection or recent illness be making feeding uncomfortable?

• Is the baby having difficulty coordinating sucking, swallowing and breathing?

• Is the feeding position comfortable, particularly if the baby is sore?

• Is milk flowing very quickly or very slowly?

• Is the baby able to attach deeply and maintain the latch?

• Is milk transfer effective?

• Has there been a recent change in bottles, teats, dummies or feeding patterns?

• Has the baby had a recent illness, procedure or other experience that may have made feeding uncomfortable or frightening?

• Could the baby have associated the breast or a particular feeding position with something unpleasant?

• Is the baby becoming increasingly frustrated or distressed when attempts are made?

• Is the baby growing and having an appropriate pattern of wet and dirty nappies?

• Is there a concern about oral function that needs assessment in the context of the whole feeding picture?

Infant oral anatomy can provide useful information, but it does not by itself explain why a baby is struggling to feed. Anatomy provides information. Function provides context. If there are concerns about tongue movement or oral function, these should be considered alongside feeding, growth, milk transfer, caregiver comfort and the individual family's goals. Not every tongue-tie causes feeding difficulties, and not every feeding difficulty is caused by tongue-tie.

What can help when a baby will not breastfeed?

The first priority is to keep the baby well fed. If the baby is not breastfeeding effectively, expressed breast milk, donor milk or infant formula may be needed according to individual circumstances. If breastfeeding is still the goal, maintaining milk removal can also help protect milk production while the difficulty is being explored. Pearson-Glaze (2024b) describes maintaining milk intake and milk production as important considerations when a baby is temporarily unable or unwilling to breastfeed.

Trying to make a very hungry or distressed baby breastfeed can make the experience harder for both of you, so consider taking the pressure down. Skin-to-skin contact can allow a baby to become comfortable at the breast without an expectation that they must latch. A baby may be more interested when sleepy, just waking, calm after another feed or during a quiet period, and some babies initially accept the breast for comfort before they are ready to take a full feed. If your baby becomes increasingly upset, stop and settle them rather than repeatedly trying to latch. The aim is to help the breast become a comfortable, safe place again.

Getting a baby back to the breast

A baby who has become accustomed to bottles can sometimes need time to relearn breastfeeding, but this does not mean that breastfeeding is no longer possible. Pearson-Glaze (2024a) suggests keeping the baby well fed while offering relaxed opportunities to practise at the breast, because hunger and frustration can make returning to breastfeeding more difficult. Skin-to-skin contact, close physical contact and calm opportunities at the breast may help the baby associate breastfeeding with comfort and safety.

Some families find it helpful to offer the breast when the baby is calm rather than very hungry, spend time skin-to-skin without expecting a feed, try different breastfeeding positions, offer the breast when the baby is sleepy or just waking, allow the baby to cuddle at the breast without attempting to latch, express a little milk first if a slow initial flow appears to frustrate the baby, seek help with positioning, attachment and milk transfer, and use bottles responsively if they are part of the feeding plan.

If bottles are needed, paced feeding techniques can help protect the breastfeeding relationship by allowing the baby greater control over the speed and rhythm of the feed. Rather than allowing milk to flow rapidly and continuously, paced feeding creates opportunities for pauses and for the baby to communicate when they need to slow down or stop. Read more about paced bottle feeding.

Some babies appear to develop a preference for a bottle teat, particularly when the flow is faster or more predictable than the breast. This can be worrying when breastfeeding is the goal, but a teat is a safe and useful alternative when a baby needs to be fed. There is no need to turn feeding into a battle over breast versus bottle. Maintaining milk supply while keeping feeds responsive means that breastfeeding options can remain open while the immediate feeding difficulty is addressed.

Babies vary considerably in how and when they naturally reduce breastfeeding, and complete natural weaning before two years is uncommon. A period of breast refusal therefore does not necessarily mean that breastfeeding is coming to an end.

Avoid turning breastfeeding into a battle

Repeatedly pushing a reluctant baby onto the breast can increase distress. A baby who turns away, cries, stiffens, pulls off or becomes increasingly upset is communicating something, and taking a break does not mean giving up. Bonyata (2020) advises against forcing a baby to breastfeed and recommends stepping back when frustration becomes significant. Sometimes the most useful intervention is to stop trying for a while and rebuild positive experiences around being held, being close to the breast and feeding without pressure. There may be two people in the feeding dyad who need a little more space.

What if breastfeeding itself feels unbearable?

The experience is not always coming from the baby. Some breastfeeding caregivers describe a sudden, intensely uncomfortable feeling when their baby begins to feed, including irritation, skin-crawling sensations, anger, agitation, panic, an urgent need to move away, or a powerful sense of being touched out. They may still deeply want to breastfeed and feel shocked by the contrast.

This is often described as breastfeeding or nursing aversion and agitation (BAA). It is a descriptive term rather than a formal diagnosis, and research into the phenomenon is still developing. The experience can be emotionally distressing, particularly when someone feels unable to talk about it without being judged.

Breastfeeding aversion can occur at different points in the breastfeeding journey. It may be particularly noticeable during prolonged or frequent feeding, cluster feeding, night feeds or tandem feeding, and some people notice changes during pregnancy, menstruation or periods of significant tiredness or overwhelm. La Leche League Great Britain (2026) acknowledges that breastfeeding is not always enjoyable and that some women experience much stronger negative emotions or aversion while feeding.

Experiencing aversion does not mean that you do not love your baby. It does not mean that breastfeeding is not working for you at the moment, and it does not mean that you have to endure an intolerable feeding experience in order to be a good caregiver.

Breastfeeding aversion is not the same as D-MER

It is also useful to distinguish breastfeeding aversion from Dysphoric Milk Ejection Reflex (D-MER). D-MER describes a brief wave of negative emotion associated with milk ejection. The feelings occur immediately before or around milk release and usually last only a short time.

Breastfeeding aversion can be different. The feelings may continue throughout a feed, may be associated with the physical sensation of nursing or touch, and may not follow the same pattern as milk ejection. The two experiences can also be confused with one another, so a careful history of exactly when the feelings begin and end can be helpful. Yate (2017) describes the range of negative emotions that may occur during breastfeeding aversion and agitation and highlights the need for further research into the phenomenon.

Looking at the whole feeding relationship

Whether the difficulty is coming primarily from the baby, the breastfeeding caregiver, or both, it is worth looking beyond the immediate symptom. Physical discomfort matters, and so does emotional wellbeing. Nipple trauma, breast pain, inflammation, difficult positioning, frequent feeding, pumping demands, uncertainty about milk transfer and an uncomfortable feeding experience can all affect how sustainable breastfeeding feels. So can sleep deprivation, sensory overload, relationship strain, anxiety, low mood, previous trauma, pregnancy, hormonal changes and simply having very little opportunity to be touched on your own terms.

Sometimes what is needed is practical support rather than another breastfeeding technique. Someone else may need to take responsibility for meals, household tasks or an older child. A breastfeeding caregiver may need protected time without anyone touching them, help with pain, or someone to listen without immediately trying to persuade them to continue breastfeeding. Often, more than one form of support is needed.

Small changes may make feeding feel more manageable

There is no single solution to breastfeeding aversion. Some people find it helpful to change breastfeeding positions so their body feels more supported, use cushions or pillows to reduce physical strain, keep water and something to eat nearby for the breastfeeding caregiver, reduce other sensory stimulation during feeds, listen to music or a podcast, use a grounding technique, make sure another adult takes over other care tasks where possible, create boundaries around non-feeding touch, gradually reduce or shorten some feeds if appropriate, offer another form of comfort to an older baby or child, or introduce a predictable feeding pattern that feels more sustainable.

With an older baby or toddler, it may be possible to set gentle limits around when and how breastfeeding happens. This does not have to mean stopping breastfeeding altogether. Responsive feeding does not require a breastfeeding caregiver to ignore their own distress.

When to seek help

Please seek support if your baby is repeatedly refusing the breast, is struggling to feed effectively, appears uncomfortable during feeds, is not gaining weight as expected, or you are worried about milk intake or supply.

A health visitor, midwife where relevant, infant feeding team, GP or International Board Certified Lactation Consultant can help explore what may be happening. An oral examination may also be appropriate where a baby appears uncomfortable feeding. Ulceration, oral soreness, infection, trauma or another anatomical or physical issue may make sucking or particular feeding positions uncomfortable, and these possibilities need to be considered rather than assuming that refusal is behavioural.

An observed feed can be particularly useful because breastfeeding is more than the appearance of a latch. It provides an opportunity to consider positioning, attachment, sucking, swallowing, breathing, milk transfer, caregiver comfort and the baby's behaviour together.

If breastfeeding aversion is affecting your ability to feed safely, is becoming more intense, or leaves you dreading every feed, you also deserve support. This can include mental health support as well as feeding support. Health visiting teams can be an important route into local services and can help signpost caregivers to appropriate organisations and specialist support. Mind provides information and support for perinatal mental health, and NHS guidance also recommends speaking with a GP, midwife or health visitor about mental health support during pregnancy and after birth. You do not need to wait until you are at breaking point to seek support.

If breastfeeding needs to change

Sometimes skilled breastfeeding support helps a feeding relationship become more comfortable. Sometimes reducing the number of breastfeeds is the right decision. Sometimes combination feeding or expressing provides a workable middle ground. And sometimes stopping breastfeeding is the most appropriate choice for the family.

A change in feeding method does not mean that breastfeeding is not working for you at the moment, or that you have done anything wrong. Breastfeeding can have important health and relational benefits, but the wellbeing of the person feeding matters too. The goal should not be to preserve a particular feeding method at any cost. It should be to find a feeding plan that keeps the baby nourished while also recognising the physical and emotional needs of the person caring for them.

When urgent help is needed

If you are experiencing thoughts of harming yourself or your baby, feel unable to keep either of you safe, are experiencing frightening thoughts that feel out of character, or feel detached from reality, seek urgent help. In the UK, you can contact NHS 111 for urgent advice, call 999 in an emergency, or attend A&E.

If possible, tell someone you trust how you are feeling and ask them to stay with you. You do not have to manage frightening or overwhelming feelings alone.

Supporting someone who is experiencing breastfeeding aversion

If someone tells you that breastfeeding feels unbearable, believe them. They may already feel conflicted about these feelings and may be frightened that saying them aloud will make other people think they do not love their baby.

Try not to respond by telling them to be grateful, to push through, or that the feeling will disappear if they try harder. Practical help can be much more useful: make them something to eat, take the baby after a feed, protect an opportunity for sleep, take an older child out, give them time without physical contact, and listen without immediately trying to fix the situation.

Supporting breastfeeding does not always mean encouraging more breastfeeding. Sometimes supporting breastfeeding means helping someone make breastfeeding sustainable. Sometimes it means helping them combine breast and bottle feeding, and sometimes it means supporting them through a decision to stop.

Breastfeeding difficulties do not need blame

A baby who refuses the breast is not necessarily rejecting you, just as a caregiver who experiences aversion is not rejecting their baby. Both situations can be signals that something needs attention. The most helpful response is curiosity rather than blame: what is making feeding difficult, and what would make it feel more manageable?

Good feeding support looks at the whole feeding relationship. It considers the baby's health, feeding skills, growth and comfort alongside the breastfeeding caregiver's physical and emotional wellbeing. You deserve support that listens without judgement and helps you find a feeding path that works for your family.

References

Bonyata, K. (2020) Help — My Baby Won't Nurse!. KellyMom. Available at: https://kellymom.com/bf/concerns/child/back-to-breast/ (Accessed: 14 September 2026).

La Leche League Great Britain (2026) When you don't enjoy breastfeeding. Available at: https://laleche.org.uk/dont-enjoy-breastfeeding/ (Accessed: 14 September 2026).

Mind (2024) Postnatal depression and perinatal mental health. Available at: https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/postnatal-depression-and-perinatal-mental-health/ (Accessed: 14 September 2026).

Pearson-Glaze, P. (2024a) How to get baby back to breast. Breastfeeding Support. Available at: https://breastfeeding.support/how-to-get-baby-back-to-breast/ (Accessed: 14 September 2026).

Pearson-Glaze, P. (2024b) When baby won't breastfeed. Breastfeeding Support. Available at: https://breastfeeding.support/when-baby-wont-breastfeed/ (Accessed: 14 September 2026).

Yate, Z.M. (2017) 'A qualitative study on negative emotions triggered by breastfeeding; describing the phenomenon of breastfeeding/nursing aversion and agitation in breastfeeding mothers', Iranian Journal of Nursing and Midwifery Research, 22(6), pp. 449–454. doi:10.4103/ijnmr.IJNMR23516.

Yate, Z.M. (2020) Breastfeeding/Nursing Aversion and Agitation (BAA). KellyMom. Available at: https://kellymom.com/bf/concerns/mother/breastfeeding-nursing-aversion-agitation-baa/ (Accessed: 14 September 2026).